It’s easy to recognize arrogant behavior when you contrast it with the behavior of someone who is not arrogant, but simply confident. Think about someone you know who is a competent and decisive individual that you would consider confident but not arrogant.
Confident people often empower others, because they feel comfortable with themselves and are completely secure. Confident people don’t waste time constantly trying to impress you, and they don’t try to overpower others or make them feel stupid.
- can make you feel small,
- are insecure,
- fear rejection,
- diminish others,
- crave attention,
- try to impress you, and
- always play the victim.
In contrast to the behaviors of confident people you may have identified, arrogant people tend to be insecure. They’re afraid that you’ll expose them as the frauds they are. Arrogant people try to position themselves above everyone else because fear of rejection is the foundation of their behavior.
This fear of rejection causes them to overcompensate and motivates them to exaggerate their own worth in an overbearing way. Arrogant people’s feelings of insecurity may not even be warranted. They may in fact be as good or better at what they do than everybody else. But they aren’t sure of that and so they overcompensate.
Arrogant people often try to build themselves up by bragging. They like to lord their status, knowledge, money, and resources over you. Bragging may be done in an indirect way. As arrogant people complain about particular troubles — troubles which are naturally much more impressive than yours — they may slip in a little bragging.
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