Charismatic people take charge of situations and then they change those situations so that they appear confident.
Prevent the appearance of nervousness, lack of confidence and discomfort
Suppose for example you’re starting a new sales job in your meeting a potential customer in an informal setting, the local coffee shop. When you arrive at the coffee shop you’re wearing your heavy coat. Over time you become quite uncomfortable.
While waiting, being polite, for a good break in the conversation your discomfort is probably already showing and your discomfort undermines your ability to appear confident and connect with the person you’re talking to.
You will be more comfortable and seem more competent if you apologetically interrupt and say “Oh, I’m sorry to mind if I take off my coat? it feels hot in here”. The same idea should apply when you are cold when your mouth is dry or when the sun is in your eyes.
If you take charge and do something to reduce your discomfort you prevent, inadvertently giving off a series of nonverbal cues that undermine any sense that you’re charismatic.
If you can prevent the appearance of nervousness, lack of confidence and discomfort then your potential customer sitting in that coffee shop will listen more carefully and be more likely to buy.
Misinterpretations of your inner-state can seriously undermine your ability to make a favorable impression
For psychological discomfort Cabane suggests an exercise called responsibility transfer, it’s a simple process that you can follow when you begin to get anxious. It asked you to first sit comfortably and relax, second take a deep breath and then pick an entity God, fate to a loved one, whatever fits you, and imagine in your mind that benevolent caring presence.
Finally imagine lifting the weight of everything you’re anxious about and placing it in the hands of that entity. Let’s return to the coffee shop where you’re meeting your new customer. What happens if a group of friends bumps into you during this meeting?
If you’re like me you might be nervous making introductions around a big group
your discomfort might be misinterpreted by your customer. These misinterpretations of your interstate can seriously undermine your ability to make a favorable impression and enclose any a subsequent deal.
If you gather your thoughts for a minute take a deep breath and an dual responsibility transfer then you will be more ready to make introductions so that there are no misunderstandings.
While talking about aging characteristics that benefit influence it’s easy to walk away thinking some people are born lucky: they are likable, attractive or have trustworthy facial features but is conveying suggests in her book there are quite a few things that you can do to maximize your chances of being an influential agent.
Suggestions that will help you be perceived as charismatic
Let me offer to more specific suggestions from her book that will help you be perceived as charismatic and thus be more likely to influence the person you’re talking to.
- First, the next time you meet someone new make sure you’re both comfortable, get this setting right so you can focus your attention on getting to know the person rather than worrying about being too hot or too cold or having to go to the bathroom.
- Second, you can try one of Cabane’s training tools summarized in her book to improve your nonverbal behaviors she suggests adopting the body language of someone who is depressed slumping your shoulders and hanging your head.
Then keeping that position try to imagine being excited you’ll find it quite difficult
now do the opposite with smile your face and raise your arms in the air as if you won the big game or the big jackpot. Stay in that position and try just try to feel depressed.
Doing this exercise a few times may help remind you of how the mind reads the body and allows it to guide mood. So the use of a smile and great posture can actually help you feel more confident. You could do that before heading into a meeting if you do this it may really give you that extra boost that will help you the persuasive.